Tag: Christian

Gay Daughter of Focus on the Family Executive Releases First Coming-Out Guide for LGBTQ People of Faith

As the recent United Methodist Church’s decision to tighten their restrictions on ordaining LGBTQ clergy and performing same-sex marriage demonstrates, being LGBTQ and Christian can be difficult and unwelcoming. But there is hope and there are affirming faith communities who embrace Christians of all kinds. Author and LGBTQ advocate Amber Cantorna (Refocusing My Family: Coming Out, Being Cast Out, and Discovering the True Love of God) empathizes with the feelings of loss, depression, and despair that LGBTQ Christians are feeling. As the gay daughter of a thirty-year-plus Focus on the Family executive, Cantorna was cast out of her family and her church when she came out. However, Cantorna found acceptance and healing through her faith and by finding an affirming community to support her during her coming-out journey. Now as part of her work dedicated to reconnecting LGBTQ Christians with their faith, Cantorna has published, Unashamed: A Coming-Out Guide for LGBTQ Christians. This practical and rich guide is invaluable for LGBTQ Christians as they consider coming out, and it is a precious tool for the allies who walk alongside them. Cantorna shares the wisdom she’s gained and teaches others about demolishing their internalized homophobia or transphobia, finding or building an affirming faith community, preparing to come out and coming out to loved ones, setting healthy boundaries, and coping with conditional love. “LGBTQ Christians are desperate for guidance on how to navigate the unexpected journey of coming out,” Cantorna says. “They’ve been backed into a corner by religion, taught to be ashamed of […]

Speaking Persuasively of LGBT+ Inclusion

Hey Friends, This week I have the exciting privilege of featuring another guest blog by my friend, Alicia Johnston. Alicia was a pastor in the Seventh-Day Adventist Church before coming out as bisexual in 2017. Here are some tips from her about how to engage in the important dialogue of LGBT+ inclusion. Enjoy and share around! Because Love Makes All the Difference, Amber Cantorna When I came out about a year ago, I did it in the most explosive way possible, with a video I shared on social media. I followed that up with my website, blogging about LGBT+ affirmation in Christian spaces. Before coming out, I was a pastor in a conservative denomination, the Seventh-day Adventist Church. Losing that career and becoming an advocate for change has meant a lot of conversations with people who do not affirm any but heterosexual relationships. I have made so many mistakes. If you’ve been following me, you will probably have seen some of them. And I have learned so much. I would like to share some of those things with you today. In sharing these lessons learned, I make no apologies about one thing: I am trying to be persuasive. I want people to change their minds and be affirming. I think this is a holy pursuit. 1. Are You Okay to Have This Conversation? This will always be the first step. You are under no obligation to engage in any conversation no matter what the circumstances. This is even more true […]

It Just Keeps Getting Better

Tomorrow marks six years since I came out of the closet. In some ways it feels so much longer. So much has happened in the span of those six years–I’ve fallen in love, gotten married to my wife, published a book, and started a non-profit for LGBTQ people of faith. Could it really be only six years ago that I was more scared than I’d ever been in my entire life as I prepared to tell my family following morning? And yet, it seems like yesterday. I can still see so clearly the stoic look that was on their faces when my parents and younger brother arrived to my house, barely making eye contact as they came in the door. It was as if they knew something was up. I can still sense the tension in the room that grew with every word I spoke about my journey of reconciling my faith and my sexuality. I can still hear the deafening silence that hung in the air once the words “I am gay” finally left my mouth. It was the most vulnerable I’d ever felt in my life. And I can still feel the pain that struck my heart with a knife when my dad looked at me with anger in his eyes and said, “I have nothing to say to you right now,” and walked out the door. That screen door slamming behind them as my mom and brother followed suit was the sound of rejection. It broke my […]

When the Agnostics I Meet are More Christ-like than the Christians I Know

At beginning of this year, I was interviewed by Cass Midgley for his podcast, “Everyone’s Agnostic.” While the majority of the people he interviews have left the faith of their upbringing (often some form of Christianity) to become either atheists or agnostics, he has also interviewed several people who have kept their faith of origin, but have undergone some kind of transformation or deconstruction of that faith. I happened to be one of those. It was an opportunity I didn’t expect, but thoroughly enjoyed. Then out of the blue just a few weeks ago, Cass and his wife, Mindi happen to be in Denver for a visit. Another couple (who had also previously been interviewed by Cass on the podcast) were hosting them while they were in town and after realizing that several others who’d been interviewed also lived in the Denver area, decided to get us all together for a BBQ in Cass and Mindi’s honor. My wife and I were both invited and felt honored to be included as we headed across town for this shared meal. We enter the room to a group of strangers whom we’d never met. It was awkward at first as everyone tried to find something in common to talk about with people they knew nothing of, and we quickly jumped to our obvious connection: the podcast. “What episode number were you featured on, Amber?” someone asked me in the first few moments after we’d arrived. Failing to brush up on that piece […]

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