As the recent United Methodist Church’s decision to tighten their restrictions on ordaining LGBTQ clergy and performing same-sex marriage demonstrates, being LGBTQ and Christian can be difficult and unwelcoming. But there is hope and there are affirming faith communities who embrace Christians of all kinds.

Author and LGBTQ advocate Amber Cantorna (Refocusing My Family: Coming Out, Being Cast Out, and Discovering the True Love of God) empathizes with the feelings of loss, depression, and despair that LGBTQ Christians are feeling. As the gay daughter of a thirty-year-plus Focus on the Family executive, Cantorna was cast out of her family and her church when she came out. However, Cantorna found acceptance and healing through her faith and by finding an affirming community to support her during her coming-out journey. Now as part of her work dedicated to reconnecting LGBTQ Christians with their faith, Cantorna has published, Unashamed: A Coming-Out Guide for LGBTQ Christians.

This practical and rich guide is invaluable for LGBTQ Christians as they consider coming out, and it is a precious tool for the allies who walk alongside them. Cantorna shares the wisdom she’s gained and teaches others about demolishing their internalized homophobia or transphobia, finding or building an affirming faith community, preparing to come out and coming out to loved ones, setting healthy boundaries, and coping with conditional love.

“LGBTQ Christians are desperate for guidance on how to navigate the unexpected journey of coming out,” Cantorna says. “They’ve been backed into a corner by religion, taught to be ashamed of who they are, and have lived in fear of being abandoned by both God and those they love if the truth about their identity leaks out. They want to live authentically, but they lack the needed resources to guide them.”

Unashamed: A Coming-Out Guide to LGBTQ Christians is now available from Westminster John Knox Press and other major retailers.

Amber Cantorna is a national speaker, a columnist for Patheos, and the author of Refocusing My Family: Coming Out, Being Cast Out, and Discovering the True Love of God. As a leader dedicated to supporting LGBTQ people throughout their coming-out process, Cantorna uses her platform to inspire others and works to dissolve shame, foster self-acceptance, and generate a message of love and inclusion for all.

-Westminster John Knox Press, Louisville, KY (March 12th, 2019)

Check out Amber’s Tour Schedule Here

Advanced Praise for Unashamed

“Unashamed is a step-by-step guide to liberation, a manual for answering that holy call to stand in our own God-given skin and be exactly who we are.”
—Linda Kay Klein, author of PURE: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free

“Amber speaks with the wisdom of someone who has lived through the kind of shame only evangelicalism can impart. For those with the courage to let the world know who they are, Unashamed will guide you, lovingly and
competently, one step at a time.”
—Paula Stone Williams, Pastor, TED speaker, LGBTQ advocate

“Unashamed is the book I wish my child would have had when he came out. With practicality, compassion, and wisdom that comes from personal experience, Amber Cantorna broaches coming out in a way that no other
book has done.”
—Sara Cunningham, founder of Free Mom Hugs and author of How We Sleep at Night: A Mother’s Memoir

“Amber Cantorna beautifully radiates God’s love and hope for all God’s children as she masterfully weaves together helpful action steps and stories that are both informative and empowering. Unashamed is filled with golden nuggets of hope, healing, and truth. . . A must-read for everyone!”
—Jane Clementi, cofounder and CEO of the Tyler Clementi Foundation

“As the gay, closeted son of a Southern Baptist pastor, I didn’t think I’d ever come out. It was too scary. . . . I had no guidance, no resources, and very little confidence. I felt like the only person in the world who’d gone through this. Thanks to Amber Cantorna, no closeted Christian LGBTQ person should ever have to feel that way again.”
—B. T. Harman, creator of the blog and podcast Blue Babies Pink

“This is Amber Cantorna at her best! She takes the nitty-gritty experiences that every LGBTQ person of faith experiences and breaks them down in an incredibly accessible way. . . . Reading it feels like having a personal coach on all things LGBTQ and Christian. It’s just so good!”
—Candice Czubernat, founder and therapist at the Christian Closet

“Unashamed is a heartfelt, supportive resource for LGBTQ Christians finding their place in the church and in the world. I’m so glad Amber Cantorna created such a vital and important work.”
-Mike McHargue, host of Ask Science Mike and author of Finding God in the Waves

Greetings from Denver, CO! I am finally home in my own town for awhile after months of traveling and speaking, and am breathing a sigh of contentment tinged with sadness as I write to you. I’m sad because I’ve gotten to meet so many of you on the road these past many months and you’ve filled my heart with joy and I don’t want it to end. But I’m content because of the stories you are telling me of the work God is doing in your hearts and lives.

As I prepare to celebrate Easter this Sunday, I’ve been thinking this week about the idea of the “end of the beginning.” In the last six months since Refocusing My Family released last October, we have traveled just under 20,000 miles and spoken at 25 different events nation-wide. Ranging from universities in Los Angeles, to churches in North Carolina, to bookstores in Seattle, we have met some of the kindest and warmest people on the planet (many of you have been among them!).

Being on the road has stretched my wife and I in so many ways – physically, emotionally, relationally, and financially. But the reward in the form of the stories we’ve heard and the people we’ve met has brought fulfillment in its deepest forms. I’ve gotten countless emails and met hundreds of people who have read Refocusing My Family who’ve said they couldn’t put it down, or they felt like they were reading their own life on paper, or this book gave them hope for the very first time, or changed the way they view therapy with their LGBT clients, or helped them understand their child better, or changed their stance on LGBTQ inclusion in the church.

One 17-year-old girl messaged me and said, “I tried to kill myself because I didn’t believe that you could be both gay and Christian. I found your book in the psych ward, and it saved my life.” Whew…after being both incredibly humbled, and grateful for whoever put my book there, it is stories like those that keep me pressing on for equality each day. My heart is full.

As we wind down the official portion our RMF book tour, people are asking me, “What’s next? Is this the end?”

1. First, let me say, No. This is not the end. This is only the beginning. This may be the official “end” of the Refocusing My Family book tour, but it is only the beginning of the speaking, writing, and advocacy work I plan to do in the future.
2. If I did not make it to your city on this portion of the RMF tour, that doesn’t mean it’s too late! We are still more than happy to continue booking RMF events going forward wherever there is a need. We are also branching out to speak in more conferences, organizations, and similar capacities. So if you are interested in booking me to speak at one of your events, visit my website and reach out to me with more information! We also have plans to expand into Canada later this summer! So keep up with me on social media and on my website for more info.
3. We already have a second book in the making! I am going under contract with a publishing company this week for a second book which I am SO excited about. It is the book all of you have been asking me for and as soon as we are officially under contract, I will tell you more about it!
4. I will be having foot surgery on April 24^th. During this time, I will be accepting all forms of chocolate, letters, flowers, and candy. Lol. But in all honesty, even though no one jumps for joy at the thought of having surgery, I am looking forward to devoting those 6 weeks of recovery to writing this second book. The forced down time will be well spent!

So that is what is next on the horizon! Even though we’ve concluded the end of this RMF book tour season, it is only the end of the beginning and we are so excited for what is to come as we move forward.

As you move into your Easter weekend, let me leave you with this:

Love is the beginning. Love is the end. And love is everything in between. Easter is an annual way for all of us to celebrate the end of the beginnings in our lives. Jesus died on Friday causing all his friends and family to think it was the end of everything they had dreamed of and hoped for. But in reality, it was only the beginning. Sunday came and with it, death was brought to life and all things were made new.

So as you examine your life and heart this Holy Week, think of those things in your life that cause you to feel like you’re at the end. Maybe you’re exhausted physically, maybe you’re emotionally at the end of your rope, maybe your job is demanding more of you than you have to give, or your family continues to challenge your worth and identity leaving you feeling hopeless.

If that is you this week, remember this: Jesus loves you so deeply. Christ came for no other reason than to tell you that one thing–you are loved. You are loved completely. You are loved fully. You are loved because of (not in spite of) who you are. Know that in the depths of your soul. Speak it to your heart. Drink it in. Lay to rest all that drains the life from your being and know…resurrection Sunday is coming. All things are being made new. This is only the end of the beginning.

As we journey on together, may you find peace in the knowledge that you are completely and fully loved by God exactly as you are. Breathe it in like the rising and setting of the sun which is new each and every day.

Because Love Makes All the Difference,

Amber Cantorna