Faith Archives - Amber Cantorna

March 2019

March 21, 2019

Gay Daughter of Focus on the Family Executive Releases First Coming-Out Guide for LGBTQ People of Faith

As the recent United Methodist Church’s decision to tighten their restrictions on ordaining LGBTQ clergy and performing same-sex marriage demonstrates, being LGBTQ and Christian can be difficult and unwelcoming. But there is hope and there are affirming faith communities who embrace Christians of all kinds. Author and LGBTQ advocate Amber Cantorna (Refocusing My Family: Coming Out, Being Cast Out, and Discovering the True Love of God) empathizes with the feelings of loss, depression, and despair that LGBTQ Christians are feeling. As the gay daughter of a thirty-year-plus Focus on the Family executive, Cantorna was cast out of her family and her church when she came out. However, Cantorna found acceptance and healing through her faith and by finding an affirming community to support her during her coming-out journey. Now as part of her work dedicated to reconnecting LGBTQ Christians with their faith, Cantorna has published, Unashamed: A Coming-Out Guide for LGBTQ Christians. This practical and rich guide is invaluable for LGBTQ Christians as they consider coming out, and it is a precious tool for the allies who walk alongside them. Cantorna shares the wisdom she’s gained and teaches others about demolishing their internalized homophobia or transphobia, finding or building an affirming faith community, preparing to come out and coming out to loved ones, setting healthy boundaries, and coping with conditional love. “LGBTQ Christians are desperate for guidance on how to navigate the unexpected journey of coming out,” Cantorna says. “They’ve been backed into a corner by religion, taught to be ashamed of […]

March 2019

March 12, 2019

“Unashamed” is Out of the Closet!

Hello Friends, I am so excited to write today and let you know that my newest book, Unashamed: A Coming-Out Guide for LGBTQ Christians is out of the closet and now on the shelves of your nearby bookstores…or your next Amazon order. I know that my blogging and updates have been sporadic and that is primarily because A) I’m only one person doing the job of many people, and B) I’m realizing (and learning to accept) that weekly blogging just isn’t my thing, and that’s okay. Plus, I’m also trying to get to the bottom of some additional health challenges that I’ve been facing, but that’s another story for another time. For today, with the release of this new book, there are THREE important things I want you to know… 1. Unashamed is now available on Amazon. Pick up a copy for yourself, or a loved one. The great thing about it is that this resource is super helpful for LGBTQ people and allies alike! So whether you’re a loved one, a parent, a pastor, a therapist, or just someone wanting to know what it is like to walk in the shoes of an LGBTQ person of faith, this book is for you! This is one of the first 10 reviews that came through on Amazon this morning. You can order your copy HERE. 2. With the book launch we’ve also announced The Unashamed Tour dates today! Tickets are now live and can be purchased via Eventbrite. To view a full […]

August 2018

August 2, 2018

What Amy Grant at Wild Goose Taught Me About Jesus

A couple weeks ago, I had my first experience at the Wild Goose Festival in Hot Springs, NC. Let me tell you friends-it was hot, it was humid, and it was holy. I didn’t know what to expect and quite frankly, was a little nervous about what I would find. But these three days in the woods of the Appalachian Mountains were much more than I anticipated. Driving through the one stop sign town of Hot Springs, NC you would never know that there were 4,000 people packed into the woods just beyond the road. But we were there. And we were connecting and building meaningful relationships with one another on all topics related to spirituality, arts, and justice. There were many highlights for me: eating my first Veggie Thing (a delicious veggie-filled crepe-like “thing” with amazing tomato based chutney), enjoying lunch with Brian McLaren and talking about the future of the church, hearing a powerful talk from Jen Hatmaker on the importance of embracing pain, and connecting with friends new and old as we waded in the river, grabbed an ice-cold lemonade, or just sat beneath a tree catching up on life. But then there was Amy Grant, my friends. And for me, she defined the weekend. There was lots of buzz leading up to “the Goose” (as people like to call it). People repeatedly asked me, “Is Amy Grant affirming?” and I had to admit that I honestly didn’t know. I couldn’t imagine her coming (or Wild Goose […]

March 2018

March 14, 2018

When You Feel Afraid…Trust

At the end of April I’m going to be having surgery on my left foot. It’s nothing life-threatening (so don’t worry too much!) but no foot surgery is pleasant, and this one will take about 6 weeks to recover from. Because I already deal with so much chronic pain, I saw several different physicians before deciding which would do the surgery with the goal of finding the best care possible. One of the four doctors I saw informed me that this particular surgery could actually be done with just a local anesthetic. I looked at him quizzically. “You mean that you can cut my foot open, shave down my bone, break the bone in half, realign it, secure it with screws, and sew it back up ALL while I’m awake???” “Yes!” he confirmed with a smile. “NO!” I responded emphatically. That’s a horrible idea! It is worse than going to the dentist and trusting that they put enough Novocain in your face to numb whatever they are about to drill on. I may have a certain degree of bravery that allows very long needles to be put into my spine on a regular basis, but I also have a great deal of foresight. Undergoing only a local anesthetic means that I could SEE my foot being cut open. It means that I could HEAR my bone being sawed and cut in half. It means that I could SMELL the heat of the bone being drilled down. And it means that […]

January 2018

January 9, 2018

A Leap from Certainty to Faith

I grew up in a very certain world. My dad worked in a prominent position at Focus on the Family and my mom was both the homemaker and the primary home-school teacher to my brother and I. My dad was home by 5:15pm every night and my mom always had dinner on the table. My mornings started with family devotions over breakfast at 7am and ended with family dinners that often included Scripture memory. Church was on Sunday mornings and Awana’s on Wednesday night. I had the coveted Christian upbringing and the epitome of a “godly family.” Life was scheduled, predictable, and safe. But this certainty came with a pricetag. Our list of rules and regulations of how to live and love others caused us to not only exist within a very confined space but it also forced us to wear a façade. The tiniest bit of doubt or unbelief was seen as weakness. Although it wasn’t overtly stated, the underlying belief was that if you had enough faith and trusted God enough, you should have your shit together. But of course, no one really has all their shit together, so instead, we just pretended like we did. We hid the broken pieces of our lives behind a happy smile or a “I’m blessed” response when asked how we were doing. If people didn’t see our mess, then hypothetically, it didn’t exist. While causing us to hide our true selves, this also caused a level of judgment when it came […]

October 2017

September 30, 2017

Refocusing My Family Releases TODAY!!!

Hey Friends! The day we’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived! Refocusing My Family officially releases today and is now available (almost!) everywhere books are sold! You can go into your local bookstore, or place your order on Amazon today. I’m so excited to finally share my journey with you in the form of this memoir. It’s been a labor of love and I’m so glad that it has finally turned into something tangible you can now hold in your hands and share with your friends. If you have a moment, there are 4 ways you can help spread the word about Refocusing My Family: Take a photo of yourself holding the book, or a photo of you and your family (or family of choice) with the book, and post online-tagging me (@AmberNCantorna) and including the hashtags #RefocusingMyFamily and #RMFtour. Write and post a review on Amazon (and if you have time, copy and paste it in Barnes and Noble too!) as soon as you finished the book. The review doesn’t have to be long, a couple sentences is just fine!) but it goes a long way in helping the book gain traction. Share a quote from the book or encouraging shout-out on social media, tagging me (@AmberNCantorna) and including the hashtag #RefocusingMyFamily and #RMFtour. Encourage your friends to attend one of the 20+ Refocusing My Family events nation-wide coming up! The tour schedule is below and we are continuing to add new dates and locations. Almost all of these events are […]

June 2017

June 29, 2017

My Evening with the Mama Bears

This week, I had the opportunity of being the special guest on Serendipitydoodah’s Facebook LIVE event. Serendipitydoodah is a private Facebook group for moms of LGBTQ kids. With currently over 1,900 members they continue to grow and connect across denominations and struggles as they share one thing in common: their LGBTQ children. This is my second time speaking to this group and each time it is an honor. With the presence of my own parents absent from my life, I love soaking up all the Mama Bear love and in turn offering some of my own insight and experience. Prior to my Facebook LIVE event the other night (which feels a lot like talking to yourself in the mirror and hoping someone is listening!) the moms of the group had the chance to submit questions for me to answer during my hour of time with them. I’ve chosen three of them from the list to share with you here this week: What can we do to help our LGBTQ kids stay connected to their faith? Love them unconditionally. Kids learn about God from their parents. If you demonstrate an unconditional love for who they are and celebrate their sexuality, then they will have no need or reason to distance themselves from God. Your embrace eliminates the stigma, shame, or belief that who they are is not acceptable before God. If they feel fully loved by you, then they will feel fully loved by God. That is how you keep them […]

May 2017

May 2, 2017

Finding Comfort in the Unknown

I’m always inspired by how easily wonder and mystery comes for little children. Their eyes get big as they believe in the impossible, or they might gasp in awe at something that to them seems like pure magic. For them, it’s so simple. They’re so full of belief, so curious, and so easily excited by discovering the things that we, as adults, think of as mundane. Growing up, there was a certain degree of magical wonder in our home. We believed in fantasy characters like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and even the Tooth Fairy for as long as our young minds would hold onto them. I remember one Easter in particular my parents went to special lengths to make the Easter Bunny believable by using powdered sugar to make bunny prints on our carpet leading us through our home to our Easter baskets. For a woman like my mother who was a meticulous housekeeper, that was sacrifice! As the years passed, the Tooth Fairy faded and belief in the Easter bunny gave way to the simple giving and receiving of Easter baskets. However, at the plea of my inner child, my dad continued to dress up in a red suit and visit us each Christmas Eve until I was well out of college. It was one of my favorite magical Christmas moments every year. But wonder and mystery were not as acceptable when it came to our faith. Growing up conservative, evangelical Christians, there was not as much wiggle room […]